hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
