Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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