I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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