i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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