Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
