while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
