so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
