my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
