I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
