no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
