I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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