But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
