Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
