dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
