i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
