May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
