you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
