I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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