The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize