Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
