at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
