after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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