this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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