she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
