Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
