My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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