How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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