I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
