i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
