Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
