Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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