fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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