Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
