Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
