i just had sex bonerless
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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