Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
