that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
