OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
