shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Drunk is not a location!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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