Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize