Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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