You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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