the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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