ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
