eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
