In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
