Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
