I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize