SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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