What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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