That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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