what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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