Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
