wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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