just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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