..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
