I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
