4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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