Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
