i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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