i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
