Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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