let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
