And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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