I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Your cock deserves a montage
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
