Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have aggressive nipples.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize