My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
