he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
