Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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