How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
