I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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