Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
