At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
