there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
